Dear Parents,
To celebrate National Parents’ Day seems redundant because in May and June, we celebrated Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day respectively. Now in July, we are observing National Parents’ Day. It is not too much because 365 days a year, you invest, sacrifice, and are committed to the welfare of your children. You are worthy of the recognition because of your efforts for children—yours and others. May we share a few thoughts to lighten your responsibilities of parenting.
Many of you do the work of parenting with little or no assistance. May we offer a suggestion that you give yourself a break and invite the wisdom of experienced persons into your life. These individuals may be your parents or empty nesters at your place of employment, religious site, and neighborhood. They are living manuals of parenting who can inform your investment in the lives of your children. These persons are by no means perfect, but they have wisdom derived from their lives and experiences with their children. Some have grown children; they have survived all the stages of childhood. You are looking for persons who know the meaning of confidentiality. They are persons of understanding, and they are deep listeners. Pause a moment and think of one or two individuals who can assist you on this journey of parenthood. Their presence in your life is not to dictate what you should do in raising your children but conversations with these individuals will enable you to see options, to see yourself and your spouse or significant other, and to better understand your children. You are not necessarily baring your soul to them, but you are seeking the benefit of their experience.
The dreams of your children for their lives may be different from yours for them. Continue to do all that you can to give them the best education and exposures possible, but value them enough to let them go when they become young adults. Give them your prayers, trust, and confidence now; continue to do so when they are making decisions for the direction of their lives. Remember yourself when you were their age. Daily, give them assurance of your confidence in them as persons. Repeatedly, let them know that you love them and take pride in them as individuals. Continue to make home a place of support as well as discipline. No matter their age, ask questions that require a few sentences for a response. Listen without interruption to their replies to your inquiries.
We have our children for just a little while. They are born one day and the next day they are eighteen years old—so it seems. You, as parent, will always make mistakes; your reactions to your own errors are teaching moments for your children. Perfection is not required in parenting; consistency, flexibility, presence, support, discipline, love, and prayer are the key factors.
Parents, you are the foundation of every society. We applaud you because you are the often-unsung heroes in the life of our nation.
Reflections
Think about how your parents raised you. List the good that you can use in nurturing your children.
List the negatives that you can discard in raising your children.
Write a thank you note to your parent. If they are living, mail it to them. If they are deceased, maintain it as a keepsake to honor their memory.
As parents, have a Celebration of Parents pizza dinner (home-made or store-purchased), and tell your children share one thing they love about you. Invite applause after each sharing. At its conclusion, tell your children the reason(s) you are blessed to be their parent(s).
Enjoy this awesome and turbulent journey of parenting!
Dorothy Watson Tatem, D.Min., ACC
Senior Associate
Next Step Associates, LLC
Cassandra W. Jones, Ed.D.
CEO & President
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