Dear Grandparents,
On Sunday, September 12,2021, we celebrate you on National Grandparents Day. Here, at Next Step Associates, we write you this letter because you are such a critical asset to the lives of your children’s children. Parents often complain that there is no book on the difficult task of parenting. You, grandparents, are the book. And like any book on any topic, you are not perfect, but you have experience that is weighted with knowledge that benefits those who learn from it. Grandparents, you are the living book on how to raise children. I repeat that you are not perfect, but you have learned much from being our parents; you bring to your relationship with your grandchildren a love laced with wisdom and freedom.
You tell our kids that they are beautiful, that they can achieve, that they can overcome the difficulties in their lives. We as parents tell them the same, but your affirmation is woven with patience and assurance. As parents, we are in the throes of giving our children food, shelter, education, planning and getting them ready for this and that. Our affirmations are laced with stress instead of patience. Nana, Pop-Pop, you are more relaxed about life now. Your full attention is on your grandchildren. When they get up in the morning, you ask them a question that you never asked us when you were parents (no anger here, just amazement).You ask our children, “What do you want for breakfast?” “Would you like me to make [whatever] for breakfast?” And you mean just that. As parents, we declare, “Breakfast is ready.” Or we just put the food in front of our children, no questions asked. You, grandparents, give them their heart’s desire for breakfast and this act makes kids feel special. Life may be difficult at times, but you grandparents know that a bit of spoiling is good for them. Parents, on the other hand, are on a work schedule and whatever needs to get done needs to fit into that schedule. Grandparents, generally, you have a more relaxed schedule or greater command of your time. When shopping parents give specific guidelines; grandparents, you tell them get whatever they want (The retirement budget is saved from excessive expenditures when the parent dashes after the child and breathes firm words of caution about price and selection).
Grandparents, you are so entwined in the hearts of your grandchildren that when the child can barely walk, if the grandparents show up at the house and the toddlers hear their voices, the little ones waddle out from somewhere in the house to find you. They know that a fun, hugging, laughing day is about to begin and they want to get to their grandparents. If the house is more than one story, the child, is on its way to the stairs or will be wail at high volume the name(s) of the grandparents, “Mimi, Pipi, Gigi, Pop-pop, Nana, Grammy!” A parents race up the stairs, grabs the child and as quickly as possible unites the wee persons with grandparents. Oh, such joy as the tot snuggles in your arms. Mercy, mercy, if you arrive and of necessity dash to the bathroom. If the tot discovers that the missing grandparent is in the bathroom, camp is set up at the door. Repeatedly, the grandparent is called or wailing persists until he or she emerges from the room of biological necessity. Then, and only then, does the child, grin with pleasure and snuggles in familiar arms. You keep confidences well, too, but you give of just enough general information to us as parents to enable us to see a circumstance of our child’s life in a more understandable manner.
Grandparents, some of you now raise your grandchildren because of dire circumstances, and most of you cultivate a healthy relationship with your grandchildren and teach them respect and love for the absent parent(s). Your profound experiential wisdom gives invaluable strength to the grandchild. The double role of parent/grandparent is arduous. You have learned much from life and your experience is an invaluable gift to the child or children you are raising the second time around. Thank you.
Grandparents, you know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” The parents are the chiefs of the village, and you are its guardians—of grandchildren. Thank you for your profound wisdom in knowing the role of the parents and respecting that. Thank you for knowing how to make your grandchildren feel like royalty as you lavish them with love, attention, and affirmation. You give your children who are parents space to relax and/or achieve professional or personal goals. Thank you. You prepare us for the day when we will be the guardians of the village. Thank you. Even, if you are still working/running a business, you pause every time the grands show up. Thank you for being an indispensable part of the village in which we raise our children.
Our CEO at Next Step Associates, LLC is a grandmother, and she has this saying, “ If I had known about grandchildren, I would have had them first.” Please note, her parents were loving grandparents.
GOD BLESS YOU, GRANDPARENTS! THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU DO FOR THE FAMILY.
With much honor,
Dorothy Watson Tatem, D. Min., ACC
Senior Associates
Next Step Associates, LLC
Cassandra W. Jones, Ed.D.
CEO & President
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