Five Girls and Great Auntie

by | Nov 15, 2021 | NSA Meditations Blog

Blue water splashes creating a tranquil scene.

Once upon an afternoon in the twenty-first century, a demanding business schedule dictated that the normal routine for five girls was going to be slightly different. Business necessitated their parents being out of town, and their Nana had meetings throughout the day including the evening. Another adult needed to be with the girls for about five hours. Nana asked a doubly vaccinated, twice-tested for COVID 19 great aunt in the family to sit with the girls, ages 3 to 12, for about five hours—mid-afternoon to early evening. Great Auntie happily said yes. On the morning of the appointed day, it occurred to Great Auntie that two years had passed since she had been with the girls. The monster plague called, COVID 19 and its herd, were still on the loose. Family members did not venture far from home. Zoom and weekly family prayer conference calls maintained the intimacy of the family village, but two years had passed since Great Auntie had seen the girls up close. Additionally, it had been decades since she had been the sole adult responsible for children. Here is what she used and learned from her five hours with five great nieces, ages 3-12.

Reflections

  1. Know and use the name of each child. Designations like “Sweetheart” suggest you do not know their names.
  2. Give the children a genuine compliment (Children easily discern true and false statements).
  3. On first meeting, a group hug will include any children who have no clue as to who the new adult is.
  4. Only use your cell phone in matters of the children; they are the center of your attention. Attend to your personal calls when you have completed your time with the children.
  5. Avoid sitting on a chair that suggests a throne-like presence for you. The floor is great. A chair that allows the children to sit with you or on its arms is great also if you cannot do the floor for physical reasons.
  6. Know what responsibilities the parents expect of their children during their absence and see that they do them. Do not improvise on the parental wishes.  (Great Auntie’s great nieces knew their duties and did them without a reminder from her.)
  7. If a meal is refused, and a bribe of half an Oreo cookie with heavy cream is rejected, do not become Godzilla. Listen to any observations that the older children may share and act accordingly. There is always another meal.
  8. Whatever the channel on the television, leave it there (providing it is wholesome).
  9. Ask about the objective of a device game. You may ask them to teach you how to play the game if you sense you will not be interrupting their play.
  10. If a toddler is reluctant to approach you, use her/his name when asking questions or requesting assistance.
  11. Please wear washable clothes. Then you can really enjoy the young ones when they are sharing and inviting you to share in their gymnastic or creative exercises.
  12. Do any physical exercises that you can and pleasantly decline when you are unable to do something. Invite the children to perform while you watch and happily remember the time when you could do the same or similar exercises. Do try an improvisation of a routine that won’t be harmful to you. The children will appreciate your effort.
  13. If you are wearing any contraptions like hearing aids, show and explain the why and how of them. The curiosity of the children is satisfied, and you have shared yourself with them. Children (and adults) like this.
  14. Follow the bedtime ritual to the last letter. Read to them and be creative about having older siblings participate in the story, e.g., making relevant sounds.
  15. Do not omit the bedtime prayer that the children have shared happens. There may be a standard prayer which one of them will say.
  16. When the parents arrive home, thank the children for sharing their time and fun with you. Hugs are in order, but they may be busy jugging their parents who have just returned home.

Once upon an evening in the twenty-first century, a great aunt drove home in the early dark of eastern standard time, filled with happiness for the hours she had spent with five smart, at-home-in-their-own-skin, beautiful great nieces.

God’s gifts put [human] dreams to shame. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Dorothy Watson Tatem, D. Min, ACC
Senior Associate
Next Step Associates, LLC
Cassandra W. Jones, Ed.D.
CEO & President