Far have I roamed
from you.
I return to your calm
and your peace.
Last week we wrote about the practice of silence; this week we look at solitude. The two are not the same although they work in tandem. Both can be practiced alone or in a crowd, the former context being the most beneficial for frequent engagement. Solitude is the result of a decision to be alone with yourself. It is a time to be sensitive to that which you are thinking, doing, and feeling without input from people. Any understandings derived during this interval are yours and yours alone; you are daring to be intimate with the person you really are. The choice to embrace solitude may not necessarily mean that you are physically alone. For example, a person might travel to New York City for a day just to be incognito in a large city. The individual can get invisible in the crowd of humanity and, therefore, able to think without interference. During an interval of solitude, thoughts might be centered on areas of your life and the need to be alone to examine circumstances and/or explore options. In solitude, you are removed from the cacophony of voices that too often mire you in confusion, frustration, and the delay of decisions about critical matters. Being alone with yourself, allows you to take responsibility for your life, because stillness enables you to focus on you and your life.
A wise woman once advised that people should spend time observing people. This is most potently done in solitude. Such observations of people in general are private and for your information. You are observing people as a stargazer studies the stars. You are learning how people are impacted by life. Observing people enhances your relational skills; body language becomes more revealing than words. In a mindset of solitude while in a public setting, observe people as they pass by. Try this exercise: based on their attire, posture, facial expressions, and body language, place them in positions in the workplace. The identity of the person is not important; whether you will ever be able to determine the accuracy of the work status you gave the individual is of no consequence. Reading people is the goal and the depth of this can only be accomplished through frequent observations done in solitude for no other purpose than to learn the species of which you are a part—humankind. This may seem to be a digression; it is not. We seek solitude to engage in life—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—more effectively. Such mental engagement done in solitude will make you sensitive to elements that you communicate to others. You will be more attentive as you relate to others.
Solitude is not mysterious; it is a way to understand yourself, significant persons, colleagues with whom you work and the strangers who become object lessons that increase your understanding of humankind. What is observed in solitude about yourself, or others is not for public sharing; it is for awareness and appropriate response to persons and circumstances. The insights gained in solitude can make you more effective in every area of your life.
Reflections
Describe your ideal space to be in solitude?
What elements in your ideal space can you place in your home to make an area of solitude for yourself?
(Please note that the space does not have to be a room.)
In nature, where do you readily find solitude?
What have you learned about yourself during your moments of solitude?
If you do not like moments of solitude, share two reasons why this is so (This is solely for your understanding).
What have you learned about people or groups simply from observations?
Have your learnings been beneficial to you? How?
Dorothy Watson Tatem, D.Min., ACC
Senior Associate
Next Step Associates, LLC
Cassandra W. Jones, Ed.D.
CEO & President
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